He had a cigarette with his number on it. He gave it over to me, “do you want it?” I knew it was wrong but I palmed it. I saved it, I waited, I called it. The liquor on your lips, the liquor on your lips.. the liquor on your lips makes you dangerous. I knew it was wrong, I’m beyond it. I tried to be strong but I lost it.
Lately I’ve been searching for something. All I found were a couple of guys that I’ve made fall in love with me, quicker than you can even say the word love. A few months ago I wished I could skip getting to know someone and taking the longest amount of time wanting and missing, to just get serious as quickly as possible. It happened. With everyone I met. Each new person I found, the less I would love the others. They all became old news, and I became bored. I’ve found myself listening to songs that say everything I feel because I can’t seem to get the words out. People are ruining me. Yet I can’t even stand to be alone with myself anymore, even though It’s the only thing I want right now. To relax. Focus. To be me again.
After you left me, I let go quicker than I thought I could. I promised you I wouldn’t leave, and so did you. I pushed you to the edge several times until you had to leave. I told you that it would be better if you left, for both of us (mostly you), but when it really happened I couldn’t. I couldn’t let it happen. Nobody could ever love me more than you loved me. I was forced to forget you, now our memories slowly vanish into the fog. I go through many clothes a day. None fit me perfectly like yours, but all I can do is keep going. Keep changing and keep moving forward until I finally fit.
